There are three bishops whom had the authority to declare the validity to my self worthiness: from taking the sacrament to going through the temple and onto serve a mission. The second bishop, whom I knew since the age of 6 was my best friend’s father. I shared family dinners with him, slept over at their house, went out to movies with their family, rode their horses on their family ranch, water skied behind their boat, etc. At the age of 19 I went to confession for being physically close with a male. I wasn’t sure “sex” had actually been exchanged. During much conversation and questioning, my childhood friend’s father, my bishop, asked me if the boy had ‘cummed.’ I had heard that term and after I left his office, realized the term was known to me. However, at the moment of questioning, embarrassment-shame-awkwardness took over and I had no idea what he meant. The bishop seemed embarrassed, “I think that is what they are calling it these days.” Then he clarified, “did the guy ejaculate?” Absolutely mortified I defied with , “No!” And that is still the truth. However, the boy and I still had sex because although his penis may not have been inside my vagina, the tip did touch the (inner labia.) this word wasn’t used but implied. I was told to be careful because I was a pretty girl and other boys will want to do this with me as well. The bishop, my neighbor and father figure is a good man. I didn’t feel he was doing anything out of context, just trying to be an obedient bishop and following the Book. The third bishop, I was 20 years old. This was a separate incident from the previous. I did have sex with another boy whom was a returned missionary. This boy, didn’t have my permission to put his penis inside my vagina. I never told him yes, but I did tell him no on several things he wanted to do, specifically sex. This bishop, took away my right of taking the sacrament, and disfellowshipped me. Then he had me come into his office one night a week, then extended it to every other week for almost a year. In these sessions I gave a full report on that week’s reading assignment, “the miracle of forgiveness.” This bishop was preparing me to be worthy for temple endowment and a mission. When I thought I might have gotten pregnant I let him know. I took a test and it came back negative. Following, the young man moved out of state and months later he called me to apologize for having sex with me when I didn’t want it. He said that his bishop whom he was talking to said that I might have made the pregnant thing up to keep him from moving. I corrected the bishop’s comment and said that wasn’t true, I in fact wanted him to move.