As a child I was taught that it was wrong to touch yourself – but that your husband could touch you after you got married. I remember as a young married woman still feeling shame to even explore my body in a non-sexual nature. But my husband could touch anywhere he wanted. He would frequently come home and want to immediately touch me sexually – if I asked him not to he would laugh and do it again. There was sexual abuse in our marriage but i was taught that my body was his to enjoy. I never orgasm in marriage. After depression and ultimately suicidal thoughts started showing up frequently I started going to a counselor who taught me that my body was my own – and nobody had the right to hurt me.
I stood up to my husband at that point and asked it to stop, which is when he started taking out his anger on my kids. I went to my bishop and stake president to seek help, my ex was also viewing pornography many hours every day – rather than address his treatment of me or my kids, they told him to go to the temple. I told the stake president about how my husband would come home and touch me sexually before even giving me a hug – and my stake president told me to be more patient. I told him of how my husband would hurt me during sex and when I told him it hurt he would ignore me — again the stake president told me to be more patient and that we needed to go to the temple together.
I ended up getting a divorce the next year. I have since met many many women who have had similar experiences where they reported abuse and were told they needed to be more tolerant.