I was 17 and had been in a relationship for over a year with a non-member (who was also extremely active in his faith). Over a Thanksgiving Break, he came home and we were physical, although there was zero sex (should I say intercourse? The church has always made me feel like I have to be super formal in regards to this topic).
That was a Saturday night. I immediately broke up with him and asked him to leave my house and the very next morning I was in my Bishop’s office “confessing”. I told him that I had engaged in inappropriate touching but hadn’t had sex.
He then proceeded to ask me where I was touched, where I touched the boy, how long, what articles of clothing I had on or not, etc. It was humiliating, my bishop had daughters my age and I couldn’t help but think the entire time, what if these were his girls? He made me feel dirty and so beneath him. I was disfellowshipped (when he told me I didn’t need a disciplinary council, he acted like I should have been kissing his feet in gratitude) for 9 months and he almost refused to sign my endorsement for BYU.
I went straight to him before my parents because I thought it was “the right thing to do”. My mom was so upset because she said she would have told me that I didn’t need to speak with him. What sort of fear tactics does a church use to make children/teens feel like they have to disclose private, personal information to leaders before their own parents? That bishop is still in my sister’s ward and I see him on occasion and I can’t help but feel sickened every time I do. He makes me feel like I’m naked every time he looks at me and says hello.