For over 7 years I was had meetings with my bishop/stake president/mission president at least monthly to talk about my masturbation “addiction”. Most of them were kind and did not ask for many details. They always told me I could overcome it if I had faith in Jesus Christ and tried to access his atonement. I tried with all my heart and always fell short. I thought that maybe I wasn’t having enough faith. I wasn’t trying hard enough. I felt filthy and like a failure. I thought that other unrelated challenges in my life were punishment for my sins. One of those men did ask for specific details. How my actions made me feel. What I thought about while I did it. Why I did it. I was blamed and shamed.
I spent a lot of time hating myself and being afraid of the spiritual consequences I would face for not overcoming my “addiction”. Since I have left the church, my self-confidence has greatly improved. I don’t hate myself anymore.