I was taught and groomed to believe that men were standing between me and god. That they were acting as gods representative. I do not remember large parts of childhood, however looking back on symptoms, I see some traits of red flags of abuse or mental instability (I assume abuse, but I don’t have evidences…
Looking back now, I can see that I have always been very interested in sex. Even as a young kid of six or seven years I liked being naked and exploring my body. I was very curious about how girls were different than boys. I liked to experiment with things that would cause erections. I…
My first experience with church leaders asking me about pornography or masturbation happened when I was about 12. I had always been curious about sexuality since most of my friends in middle school were not members and they looked at pornography regularly. My bishop asked me if I looked at pornography or masturbated when I…
I was inspired by former Bishop Sam Young’s campaign to end teen interviews with bishops for the plethora of reasons he has outlined. I have been wanting to share my own personal story on this topic for 38 years, but it has been very difficult to find the words, process the emotions, and not end…
When I was in my mid-30’s, my father admitted to me that he molested me when I was a very young child. He said that he “took care of it” by going to the bishop. He never said that he was sorry. He never stopped looking at me in a sexual way. Nothing changed. Yet…
As a girl, I never heard any messages directed to the young women about masturbation, which made me feel like I must be especially bad because I couldn’t stop doing something that seemingly no other young women had a problem with. I prayed and begged god to help me stop, to take away my desire…
Hi. I didn’t grow up LDS, but I did have a “problem” with masturbation. I had done it before I became a member (around 25 years old) and had no problem with it. I am not sure how I got the knowledge that it was a sin. If it was me asking or the Bishop…
I don’t have the horror stories that some people have, but I have a few incidents to relate. First, when I was about thirteen, Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped. I was afraid for her and I was afraid that something similar could happen to me. I began having panic attacks that made it difficult to breathe…
The first interview I remember was my pre-baptism interview when I was 8. The bishop took me into his office, having my parents wait outside. He asked me a lot of different questions, including whether I had ever touched myself. Due to the tone in which he asked, I recognized that “touching myself” was a…
I turned twelve in 1973, while living in Cache Valley, Utah. I spent the two years I was a Deacon in the Aaronic Priesthood in Utah. I do not recall any intrusive or poignant, sexually-themed questions at all during that time. But we moved to Chattanooga, Tennessee around my fourteenth birthday. The sexualization of my…