On my own volition and guilty feelings, I was compelled to tell my ecclesiastical leaders that I was gay and had been having relations at a park at the west end of 500 south in Provo. I had been a stellar student and believed with my soul that the church was true. I needed to…
Local church leaders conduct worthiness interviews with their members, even the children. Every child in a Mormon congregation will have at least one interview with the presiding member of their congregation (Bishop or branch president) at age 7-8, and several more from the age of 11 to 18 prior to temple attendance or full-time missionary…
“’You asked me once,’ said O’Brien, ‘what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.’” -1984 by George Orwell. Those words hit me to my core when I read 1984 in my senior…
As an older teen I had sex with my boyfriend, J. I went to my bishop and confessed. The bishop asked for J’s name and ward, which I gave him. The branch president of J’s singles ward called him in for an interview where he asked J for details about what had happened. According to…
During one of my earliest worthiness interviews as an adolescent, the interviewer asked if I masturbated. I needed a definition because I hadn’t experienced it yet. Then I was asked, “Have you ever tried to have sex with an animal?” (I don’t remember if they said bestiality first and then had to define it when…
Shortly before my daughter‘s 13th birthday, she came downstairs and found me in the kitchen making dinner. She had a horrified look on her face as she handed me her journal that have been bookmarked to a particular page. She slid it on the counter over towards me, burst into tears and almost collapsed on…
My branch president said, “You can’t think gay thoughts, they will lead to going to hell.” I was 7 years old when two older boys sexually assaulted me. These boys were over for a sleep over with my older siblings. I awoke to these boys trying to hold me down and penetrate. I was able…
I support the stories shared here, and am now willing to publicly share my own. After just turning 12, I was scheduled for my first “worthiness interview” with my bishop before becoming a deacon and receiving the Aaronic Priesthood. Having already been molested by a close Mormon relative at the age of 10, I was…
Like most teenagers, I masturbated. During a worthiness interview, I was asked if I had masturbated. I was honest and admitted that I had. I don’t remember the details of everything the bishop said, but remember him telling me I couldn’t take the sacrament for two weeks and that I needed to read the Miracle…
I did not realize until I started typing how difficult this might be to share. I am flooded with so many emotions. I grew up in a very devout Mormon family. I was never sexually abused, but for some reason I discovered my sexuality in my childhood and began masturbating even before I was a…