My mother was inactive LDS growing up. My dad was of another faith. I didn’t go to church often, but would at times go play basketball with neighborhood friends who were LDS. At one of these shootarounds when I was thirteen, I was pulled into the bishop’s office without either of my parent’s consent or…
I’ve written about a hundred pages worth of material trying to figure out what I want to say and get it down to something less than a thousand words. This is around two thousand. My difficulty in being succinct is perhaps evidence of the severity of the trauma and my need to talk about it.…
When I was 16, I was sure I was in love with my boyfriend. Evenings were spent cuddling watching tv. As often happens the line kept being crossed, just a little at a time and I soon found myself in the bishops office. He listened as I uncomfortably explained that I had gone “too far.”…
My mother taught me that it was wrong to touch my private parts. I was afraid to sin and was very careful not to ever touch myself, even as a young child. At some point I began to masturbate, as a young teen or perhaps sooner. I did not know what it was that I…
As a young 13 year old girl, this was a very uncomfortable, if not traumatizing situation for me speaking to an older man about my sexual “transgressions.” This, in combination with the church’s many lessons about chastity and comparing me to a chewed piece of gum for losing my virginity shattered me as a person.…
There was a time a little girl was happy, at least she tried to pretend she was, because she did not know what was going on.
I grew up being exposed to sexual activities and situations from my neighborhood peers, starting at a very young age. I always felt shame around things I had been exposed to or reluctantly participated in based on what I learned at church. As a youth, I regularly visited the bishop for worthiness interviews. I always…
I joined the church when I was 18. I had an interview with my Bishop and he asked me if I engaged in Bestiality. I was so offended by this question. It made me feel gross and I wondered if others looked at me the same way. Just to be questioned in that way filled…
At age 12, I was so excited to be ordained a deacon. The Bishop brought me into his office. I don’t remember anything from that interview except that he asked if I knew what masturbation was. I had no idea. He must have not told me because I just remember when I got home asking…
Growing up in the church I was frequently asked about masturbation. The cumulative doctrine during my formative years was very clear that this was a sin of the highest severity. This came in the form of “For Young Men Only” pamphlets, Books such as Miracle of Forgiveness, frequent priesthood preview meetings, quorum curriculum, general conference…