At the beginning of high school, I hung out with childhood friends that were misguided. I honestly was trying to bring them back to the church. I was overweight and was gaining more weight. I was called into The Bishop’s office where I was accused of being pregnant. I had never even held hands with a boy never been on a date didn’t even understand how sex worked.
I continued to work with these friends and try and guide them in the right direction. They made bad choices and vandalized property. I was called into The Bishop’s office again and accused of being with them when they did this. I explained why I was spending time with these friends but was still accused of this. He then again accused me of being pregnant even when I explained that I had just gained weight.
I was then called in a third time which at that point I decided that maybe I shouldn’t continue to go to church. Due to these accusations as at such a young age it was easier for me to feel like I wasn’t worth anything. If everybody thought and God thought I was doing these things then what was the point of being righteous.
Growing up in the church you are always taught that the bishop is a direct line to God through the prophet and through the priesthood. Due to this I felt that God no longer loved me I have continued since then feeling this way and feeling in general just worthless. This led to eating disorders , self-mutilation, and multiple suicide attempts. I have struggled with and still struggle with even 12 years later. I have gone to therapy to try and work through these issues however it is still something that plagues my mind. The shame that came from this was something that was seen by other members. After these interviews children my age started looking at me differently and didn’t want to spend time with me. I lost my friends in the church which drove me in the direction of being friends with these misled children. After the scars still being there 12 years later I wonder if they will ever heal.