My bishop was not a pleasant man.
At 12 years old, my parents drove me to his home for my first temple recommend interview. My parents made themselves comfortable in his living room while I was led into a dark, cramped, hoaders-esque home office. I remember he had a dog, a border collie, and I wanted to pet it so badly but I was shooed into his office instead. He shut the door behind me. He sat in front of me, a little too closely, our knees touching, on a chintzy rolling office chair, manspreading in his too-loose sweatpants. He gave me some schpiel about how important this all was and said he was going to ask me some very personal questions. I was scared. He was a gross man. I had a sick feeling in my stomach, but, not wanting to disappoint my parents, I consented.
He first asked me if I was obeying the law of Chastity. At 12 years old, I had heard that word but I didn’t really know what it meant. I told him flatly that I thought so, but I wasn’t sure. He asked me if I was still pure; if I wore sexually provocative clothing, if I touched myself… I’m sure he asked other questions as well. At first, I was disgusted and very nervous, but then I quickly started to feel really guilty. REALLY guilty. God wanted to know if I was worthy, after all. The Bishop was just doing his job. He was appointed to determine my worthiness. I was not SUPPOSED to be feeling icky and anxious and scared – that was the WRONG reaction. I was supposed to be feeling excited and happy that I would finally be able to visit the temple — to make my parents proud — but it was wrong. All wrong.
A 50+ year old man should never EVER be able to ask a 12 year old girl if she has “urges” or if she masturbates.