I have shared one story here so far but I have more, my own and second hand. It is terrible that such a policy is enacted through good men who were naive. This policy can cease. If a worthiness question can be as simple as ‘do you keep the law of chastity yes or no’ and NO MORE than that, even that would be a huge step of progress!
When I was a student at BYUI I had a boyfriend where grinding was involved. I was asked explicitly every detail every minute and had to rehash everything. This boyfriend told me his bishop only said no problem don’t do it again with no further questions asked. I was asked to miss sacrament for a few weeks, and the boyfriend who I broke up with soon after did not have to miss ANY sacrament. His value as a man definitely made me feel like my value was diminished as a woman. That his sexual exploits were nothing and mine were an abomination to my identity. It wasn’t right at all.
There have been good bishops who wanted no details and wanted to jump straight to the repentance process. My husband would never allow himself to sexually interrogate a woman or a child. In fact doing so even in a position as a bishopric or stake president would be a violation of my trust.
Please change this policy. My daughter is growing up in the church. Sam knows Christ. He fights for her.
My second hand stories are from those who have left the church. Who grew up in dysfunction and as a result had many sexual struggles. The result? Being slut shamed by a bishop after telling each and every man and boy and then torn down as a fourteen year old girl. This friend left the church without a second glance. That’s not how Christ treated the adulteress AT ALL. Why is it ok for a man who doesn’t know a woman’s situation or circumstances to do that to her? Even Christ himself knew that was low.
I love the gospel. But I vehemently hate the culture and if Sam is shutup there will be more of us righteously going about our ways to change it. Do not obliterate him for good PR. Do not cover up as quickly as possibly like the catholic church. Work with him. Listen to him. All he wanted to do was talk. Talk on behalf of his own precious daughters. If women are so precious in the church why is his efforts of protecting them shamed. He is giving everything he has to do so. I know as an active member he will be crowned above all who condemn or feel right to excommunicate him. Do not be a part of that crowd. Do not be the ones to vote yes for crucifying Christ or those truly following his mission. It does not matter if you are in the true church or not. When you choose to drown out a true messenger of God’s will you choose to condemn yourselves. To go home to your families and perpetuate the sexual interrogations of children. To go home to your families thinking you followed Christ but in your heart of hearts knowing you fought Him. Would you risk it all for the leadership or for your children. If your answer is truly the leadership, then I feel deeply sorry for your children.