When I was 14 years old the youth of our ward took a trip to the temple to perform baptisms for the dead. My dad was the bishop and conducted my recommend interview. He asked me about chastity.
I was somewhat hesitant and embarrassed, but decided to share with him a non-consensual experience I had recently had with a boy I’d met at a stake dance. He’d forced me to perform oral sex on him. I wasn’t sure whether I had sinned, since the experience was non-consensual. Rather than explain that I had been raped, my dad made me relive the experience by telling him in detail what the boy had made me do. He asked about my hands and whether I had grabbed his shaft with one hand or two. He had me show him with my hands how I had grasped the boy and talk about whether my shirt was on or off. He asked about my mouth and whether I’d used my tongue or my whole mouth. He asked about whether the boy had ejaculated into my mouth. After giving him a complete description of the entire experience, he told me not to take the sacrament for the next three Sundays and to stay away from the boy. He said that coming to him and willingly sharing the experience had kept me from facing further disciplinary action from the church. There were several times after that in which my dad called me into his office and had me retell the experience, despite having told me that I was forgiven. Each time I shared this traumatic experience it re traumatized me. The boy received no disciplinary action.
Years later I found child pornography on my dads computer and turned him in to my ward bishop. My bishop contacted his stake president, who called me and told me that he and my dad had been good friends in high school. He said he’d spoken with my dad, who had insisted he’d stopped looking at it. I was shocked to find out that the stake president had decided that the embarrassment of admitting to having looked at it was enough discipline for my dad and no further action was taken. The stake president then told me since my dad had been through the repentance process and had a broken heart and contrite spirit, I should never speak of it again. I inquired about contacting the authorities and the stake president admonished me to keep quiet and rebuked me for “attempting to stand in judgment of one of the Lords Anointed”.
Now, years after leaving this horrendous church, I see clearly that my dad was abusing his position as both my bishop and my father. I was the victim of a good ole boys cult like so many others.