Hi. I didn’t grow up LDS, but I did have a “problem” with masturbation. I had done it before I became a member (around 25 years old) and had no problem with it. I am not sure how I got the knowledge that it was a sin. If it was me asking or the Bishop telling me but I knew it was a sin. So I confessed and I confessed and confessed again. I think my record was 2 months. I felt like a looser and it didn’t help that my then wife thought of my masturbation as cheating. I felt worse and worse about it. I loathed myself for not being able to control my thoughts or actions in this. I remember my bishop telling me that it was a common problem and of course the problem was pornography. I remember telling myself that it was ok if I didn’t use pornography. I had many justifications like that, but they didn’t hold up for long and then the guilt would come. I remember fearing to give my daughters an abnormal sexual life because of my wife being more conservative and listening more to what was taught about sex in church. It gave my oldest daughter severe problems as she is transgender and she always felt wrong in church. Because of church teachings I couldn’t receive her in the right way when she said she felt like a boy. She was 7 years old and of course I told her that she was a girl. Now we are all out of the church and feeling so much better. I no longer feel shame for masturbating and me and my wife can now support our daughter as she is transitioning in to our son. I know a lot of members have a lot if problems in their sexual lives. If it’s because of interviews or general teachings about sex, I don’t know, but the church does not provide a healthy environment to develop ones sexuality. It is a very unhealthy environment.
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