When I was 16 years old, I met with my bishop to confess some sexual sins I had committed with my boyfriend. I felt horrible and wanted to start on the path of repentance like my church doctrine encouraged. I met with my bishop alone on a Tuesday evening.
I told him what I had done and he asked me to hold up my hands and show him, using my left hand as a “hole” and my right hand with my fingers, how far my boyfriend penetrated me. He talked to me about my hymen (I had no idea what that even was) and asked if I thought my boyfriend broke it. He asked if there was blood. I said no and was mortified that he was asking so many detailed questions.
I remember feeling like a complete whore. I wanted to hide in a cave and never come out. He told me I needed to repent and I couldn’t take the sacrament for two months. This of course was noticed by my family on the following Sunday and I was confronted by my parents. I remember writing in my journal about all of this and calling myself a “slut, a dirty whore and a piece of trash.”
As I look back on this experience, now that I’m a grown adult woman, I am sick that I allowed my bishop to ask such questions. He was my neighbor and he was an accountant. He had NO training in psychology. The fact that he made me use my hands/fingers to give him a visual of what happened between me and my boyfriend is so wrong. It’s disturbing!
I will be marching on March 30th to protect others from these damaging bishop interviews.
