The most important fact to know about my story: I am deaf, so my interviews are different from other stories, and in a disturbing way. I remember two experiences that stuck in my memory until now.
First one was when I was a kid in a hearing ward, and they were having a youth baptismal event one night. My friends invited me to go, but I said that I didn’t have an active temple recommend. So they offered to give me a ride to the church to do bishopric interview. I went with them, and arrived. I waited for my turn (it was a weekday, not on Sunday), and one of the councilors invited me into a classroom. It was one on one, with a deaf kid and a hearing adult. There were no interpreters, so we communicated via writing on papers. I was (and still am) a honest person, and I divulged that I occasionally watched porn and masturbated. In writing. With an adult watching me write it out. That was shaming, but what was more shaming is that he said that I can’t get a recommend due to those sins, and won’t be able to join my friends. So imagine my shame as I left that room, and having to tell my friends that they have to drive me home instead of going to temple right after. They knew I didn’t get a recommend, so obviously I had done something wrong. It was a deeply shaming experience.
Next awful experience was when I was in a deaf ward. I felt the guilt build up and up, until finally at age of 16, I felt the need to confess to my deaf bishop. I set up an appointment, then talked with the bishop. But I wasn’t prepared for what happened. Up to this point I knew no signs for sexual terms, instead I spelled out those words. When I said that I watched “p-o-r-n”, he signed what literally translates as “dirty pictures” which is the sign for porn in Utah. Then he asked me, in sign language, if I masturbated. I learned the sign for that word from him. It is very graphic, he was an 60-year old man or something, sitting across me without desk in way, and signed the action of male masturbation in front of me. I tried finding a video of what it looks like, but it was marked “MATURE” on this website because it’s that graphic:
So I had to go on youtube, and lo and behold, Jehovah’s Witness ASL video shows both male and female masturbation signs. You can view how graphic they are: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOe5n4lXiUM