I was 18 or 19, at college with my boyfriend. We had been dating a while and I stayed over at his place late one night. I won’t go into the details but he sexually assaulted me while I was asleep.
I honestly didn’t know who to turn to but felt for some reason my bishop was who I should talk to. I thought I would feel loved and he would help me feel better. Instead I was asked why I was at his place in his room so late and that I had to go without the sacrament for a couple weeks.
Looking back I feel sick to my stomach and angry about that. So so angry. But at the time I felt so much guilt and shame and that it was my fault.
Later with another bishop before I got married, I again felt the need to get a couple things off my chest. (Looking back I really don’t think it was necessary. Like even for repentance standards. I just had a very high guilty conscience. (Implanted I think by the church.) I remember my bishop asking me if I ever orgasmed. I had never been asked something like that. I felt so incredibly uncomfortable with a conversation of that nature with a man I barely knew.
Am I scarred for life? Thankfully not. I know there are so many others with much worse stories and impacts. But still it was wrong. And it makes me angry. It needs to stop.