My story isn’t as destructive as some, but still disturbing as I think about my young age and where the conversation was allowed to go with myself, a 13-14 year old girl sitting in a room all alone with a man in his mid 30s.
I was asked the usual “do you obey the law of chastity?” But instead of stopping there, this counselor to my bishop proceeded to tell me about his marital sex life. He told me that “sex was the icing on the cake” to his marriage. That it’s definitely something to look forward to someday.
At the time it made me feel uncomfortable and small. I just remember feeling so much “less than” him, if that makes sense. It was like he was showing off that HE could enjoy sexual relations. But I needed to stay in my place.
If I were to find out that one of my daughters had the interview that I had at that age, I’d be livid. It absolutely was grooming me and set me up for many years of feeling inferior and honestly sick to my stomach about subsequent meetings with bishops and their counselors. Bishops and their counselors are not exempt from being men with motives outside of strictly helping youth stay on the “straight and narrow”. As in my example, some have sexual egos to project. It is my hope and prayer that safety measures in the form of strict policy can be enacted to protect future harm from befalling our children. Please listen to these stories. Not one of them should have happened.