When I was 6, my brother and I played “doctor”. I had no idea at the time there was anything wrong with the game, we were nearly playing make believe. We did the normal children’s game of “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”, and on the count of 3 we quickly gave each other a brief glimpse of the private parts of the opposite sex. Unbeknownst to us, our mother had observed the incident and never let us forget. This caused me considerable guilt and shame over the years.
Fast forward to my first youth Temple recommend interview. When the question of Chastity was asked, I confessed the incident to my bishop at the time. He wasn’t overly concerned, seeing as I was six at the time. He said that my baptism had washed the ‘sin’ away, and not to worry about it any more.
Fast forward to my Temple Wedding Recommend interview at BYU. The interview was much more probing, and the Bishop wanted to know if any moral sin that had/or had not been resolved by a previous bishop. I responded that I had cleared up any previous moral issues with my other bishop, and that I felt worthy to enter the temple for my Temple Marriage.
This bishop again reiterated that he was appointed as the Judge in Israel, and that he, and he alone, would decide if I had properly repented. I told him about the incident with my brother when I was six yrs old, which, quite frankly, I had almost forgotten about. This bishop decided that I had not properly “repented”, and that my baptism didn’t cover an incident such as this.
As part if my repentance I needed to meet with him for the next few weeks to go over the necessary steps of repentance. I was humiliated. I felt dirty, shamed, and was very angry with my childhood self (even though at the time I had no idea I was doing anything wrong).
Each time I met with this bishop he would also ask me about masturbation, even though I didn’t have a problem with it. Every time I answered that I felt morally clean, he questioned me further, clearly not believing me. It was humiliating and shameful. I felt guilty for no reason whatsoever.
Grown middle aged men should never be asking children, teens, and young adults sexually explicit questions. This practice needs to stop. It has harmed far to many individuals.