Shortly after turning 12, I was interviewed by my bishop for a temple recommend. The questions at first were of no harm or were not causing any discomfort, but it definitely was not when the Law of Chastity was brought in to question. I was asked to describe about the law in my own words. To my understanding at the time, the law meant not having sex before marriage. However, my bishop wasn’t looking for that portion of the answer.
At this point I was truly at a blank and confused about the question. I thought I knew what it meant and I didn’t want to be deemed unworthy for the temple and possibly have my parents know of my inability to go to the temple because of it. I told my bishop that I don’t know what he’s asking, but I know through the warm feeling of the Holy Ghost that I’m not breaking it.
My bishop then brings up the word “masturbation.” I told him I didn’t know that word and I haven’t heard of it before. He then asked me if I touch my private parts for pleasure and at this point my heart was pounding from being asked such question. As a grownup knowing what I know now, I didn’t know about or perform any such actions ever when I was being interviewed with my bishop. The interview section for that law should have stopped there, but my bishop then took the time to explain how a boy masturbates and that it was a sin if it was done. After that interview hour long interview, I felt so many emotions and thoughts of confusion. It should of been a 10 minute interview, but the law of Chastity took 50 minutes of answering and being described on what it is on all levels, but also being taught how to perform the actions to break it was the start of personal conflict and self-loathing for myself. I tried coming up with ways to skip temple interviews or coming up with excuses to not have to go so that I didn’t have to be interviewed with such detail again.