When I was 15 I slept with my boyfriend. It wasn’t until later that I realized I had done so because I didn’t feel like I could say no. Anyway, I felt a ton of guilt and went to my bishop that week to start the repentance process. All I wanted to do was confess my sins and do what I needed to make it right with God.
When I told my bishop he asked me a bunch of in-depth questions about what we had done. He wanted to know where we touched each other, where this took place, was protection used or not, was it only vaginal and penial penetration, etc. Questions that were too personal, questions that a much older man shouldn’t have asked a teenager. I didn’t know any better and had been taught that the bishop would help make it right. So I answered all of his questions and felt yucky inside while “confessing” those things to him.
Then imagine my horror when he told me I had to tell my parents. I was coming to him in all my shame and guilt, wanting to work through it, wanting to right myself with God but now I had to tell my parents? I was meeting with my bishop weekly and was avoiding telling my parents but was told I couldn’t be right with God if I didn’t confess to my parents first. Where was the privacy and confidentiality? Why couldn’t I confess and make it right and move on with my life? I finally told my mom who then told my dad. My mom used this knowledge a few times to shame me and make me feel worthless. 15+ years later I still look back on that and all my bishop interviews with the feelings of dread and shame. Every bishop interview I ever had made me feel uncomfortable.