My sister and I, at different times in our respective childhoods mustered up the courage to tell the bishop about our dad, who physically, emotional and mentally abused us and our mother. I went in when I thought he might kill my mom after watching him choke her. I told my bishop about how he kicked, pulled hair, called us stupid bitches, and knocked me to the ground. My sister in a different interview told him about how our dad had pinned to her to the bed and choked her, and that he threw plates at her that missed and broke into pieces against the wall. I was only 100 lbs and my sister was much smaller. I once told my dad that he might kill us someday, to which he replied “no, I won’t let it get that far.” But here’s the problem: He was the ward clerk and a “righteous” and respected priesthood holder. I protested that he should not have a temple recommend and that he was a horrible human being. My sister and I both got the same response,”honor your father and mother.” I thought, didn’t you hear me? I had to threaten to call the cops to get him to let go of my mother’s throat! The interview ended and decided that I was right not to tell anyone all along. They simply didn’t care. By the time the next bishop was was called we had helped my mom kick him out, with the help of police, and she had picture evidence of being punched. The judge at their divorce hearing told him to never hurt a woman and granted her a much needed restraining order. After all this, the new bishop called my mother in for an interview, along with my little sister (I had moved out). They obediently went and, not long after sitting down, found that it was all a trick. The bishop had my dad come into the room so he could “just talk to her” about her breaking up the family. This bishop was clearly breaking the law and he knew it. They blamed my mother for the divorce. My mom and sister got up and left, not knowing that they could not count on a bishop to protect them. How can battered women ever escape in a system like this? And why don’t they matter? This was over a period where we had had a total of six bishops. The three of us do not believe bishops to have special discernment in the least. -B
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