The following isn’t an experience about a Bishop interview, but an Honor Code Office interview on the BYU-I campus. This is an LDS owned private university. These meetings should be treated the same as the bishop interviews.
About 3 weeks before my graduation at BYU-I, I was called in to the Honor Code Office on campus. A few days prior I had engaged in consensual activities with my husband [boyfriend at the time]. A past roommate took it upon herself to inform the university. Within a matter of hours me and a couple roommates were summoned for an appointment with the Honor Code Office. We each had our own meetings. They were all one-on-one with this male official.
My appointment began with him telling me everything I was being accused of [having sex in school approved housing while being unmarried] and that I would more than likely be kicked out. He then proceeded to ask me about the accusations and told me he was going to investigate everything if I didn’t admit to the accusations. This came out in a very threatening manner which made me uneasy. Because graduation was so close, I debated lying my way through in order to stay. However, as they always take the side of the accuser and my better side wanting to be honest, I decided to tell the truth.
I told him I did engage in sexual activity therefore breaking the honor code policy I had signed in order to attend school. Then he leaned forward with his hands under the table and began asking me questions about my experience. Some of the questions asked were about what positions we had sex in and if we enjoyed it and how I felt afterwards. I was mortified to say the least. I honestly couldn’t believe he asked me questions like this. How could this LDS school official be asking me such invasive questions? All he needed to know was if I broke the policy or not. Not this kind of detail.
I had never heard of questioning like this happening before and would not have gone into that appointment if I did. I did not want to answer any of the questions, but he wasn’t letting me go until I said something so I tried to keep as vague as possible when answering so I could get out of there. Once my meeting was over, one of my roommates had to go talk with him and he was even more disgusting with her. I will not go into details as it is not my story to tell. They were far more intimate and specific than mine.
In both cases we were in the wrong as far as policy being broken, HOWEVER NO ONE has the right to ask questions like we were asked. They were invasive, they were embarrassing, they were INAPPROPRIATE.
Neither bishop nor BYU HC Office personnel should be asking these. Both my roommate and I tried to file a sexual harassment charge and have parents talk with him about his disgusting behavior, but the university wouldn’t do anything and claimed that the man had gone on family vacation the next day and was unavailable. No legal action was taken after that and as far as I know he remained employed. Following the meetings we were both kicked out of school even with graduation just weeks away. To this day, the experience leaves an awful taste in our mouths and are still shocked that it happened. I remember being so humiliated by the experience that I hid it from most people and tried to bury it away. It left me feeling so violated and disgusting. I honestly hope that no one else had to go through any kind if interview with that man as it was and can be traumatic.