I went to my bishop to “repent” after having sex with my boyfriend at the age of 17. I had to describe the entire experience to him, every detail. This felt VERY creepy. He then proceeded to tell me I would need to have a church court, that my parents would be notified and then uttered words that cut me so deeply the wound took decades to heal. He told me that I would have to marry the man I had sex with because i had “given away the only thing of value I had” and that “no other man will ever want you now” During my “court of love” I had to once again repeat all the details of the intimate encounter to a room full of me, older me. I felt so violated by this. There was never any love in this whole “repentance” process, only shame and chastisement. This bishop came to my dad’s funeral 30 years later and I was so traumatized by shaking his hand – not something I should have even had to deal with or think about at a time like that.
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