When I was 12, I went in for my first Bishop interview. When it got to the part about chastity he asked me if I masterbated. I had no idea what it meant or what it was and I told him so. He went on to explain in detail how I may have masterbated… with my fingers, with objects, with pencils, etc. I was freaked out and felt incredibly uncomfortable. I left feeling icky. But I assumed this was normal because I was always taught that Bishop’s were chosen by God. They were to be trusted. Every time I went into a Bishop’s interview afterward I would have horrible anxiety from the time the appointment was set until it was over. I would pretty much shut down and answer as quickly as I could. By the time I was getting ready to get married in the temple, I had years of trying to “survive” interviews. Sometimes that included not rectifying things that needed to be. The guilt I lived with was insane. I was sure I was going to go to Hell if I were to die because I hadn’t gone thru the repentance process and I had lied to numerous Bishops thru the years. Even after I got married and repented, I would have horrible anxiety during interviews. All because a man thought it was okay to paint a picture to a 12 year old about masturbation. I told my parents a few years back and they were appalled and asked why I never told them. I replied “Because I trusted that it was normal. How was I supposed to know different?” .
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