During my developmental years as a teen I often struggled with depression. I was weighed down with guilt and tore myself apart with self-loathing. I was conflicted, frustrated, embarrassed, confused, and suffering. My source of pain was due to my personal sexual sins. These minuscule sins included very infrequently masturbating (never to completion) and sometimes…
When I went to speak to my bishop to start the repentance process I was shocked at the information he wanted to know. He wanted to know the exact date, person and sexual experience I encountered. It made me feel so uncomfortable that I never returned back. I ended up leaving the church several months…
I always dreaded the interviews. Even when my dad was the bishop. That probably made it worse honestly. I knew it was abnormal for kids my age to be exposed to this type of questioning but it’s not like I had any choice to go. Throughout my youth and early adult life I struggled with…
First of all I am no longer a member, having resigned 2 months after being released as a YSA Bishop in the Pacific Northwest. In 1999 while serving as a Bishops Counselor, I was interviewing youth for an upcoming temple trip. In the course of my interviews I was asked to follow the handbook of…
When I was 12 years old I was sexually abused by my dad. He was serving in a bishopric at the time. And he had earlier served as a bishop. After I was 18 and finally told someone the words from my stake president was to “forgive and forget”. My dad was not released from…
Thankfully, I don’t remember having any one-on-one interviews where I was asked explicit questions, but because of some of the shaming from the church, it has impacted me in my adult life. My parents never talked to me about sex-ed stuff, or just about my body in general. And the shame that the church projects,…
Bishop T. of East Layton, Utah is one of the bishops who shamed me. He was more instrumental in my exit from the church then anyone else was. He used shame as a weapon. I was 21 years old and inactive and I did something that “church” deems as wrong and somebody told on me…
In 2009 my best friend took his life. He was an AP on his mission, always made an effort to be his best, and still felt he was a failure. He had an incredible heart and was an amazing friend. He was a law abiding citizen, but felt so much guilt from falling short of…
My beautiful daughter was tormented by the questions asked by her bishop in the worthiness interviews. I did not know anything about this until you stood up against this horrific practice. I asked her if this had happened to her, and she told me some of the details. When she was twelve, the bishop asked…
On a Platter Originally printed in Gris-Gris, issue 6, (Jan. 2016), and again in The Exponent II, Part 1 (10 April 2018) and Part 2 (11 April 2018). At the beginning of our two-week residency in Barcelona, my writing cohort met for cocktails in the home of Bob Antoni, a West Indian writer whose fame,…