I was inactive from the time I graduated High School until I was around 20. At that time, I decided to come back to church and “repent” for what I was taught was sexual misconduct with my boyfriend. The bishop of my YSA ward was like a father figure to me. He took me into his office alone and I confessed, keeping it very general. He proceeded to ask me extremely graphic questions that made me horribly uncomfortable. Questions like, “What color underwear were you wearing?” “Which one of you undressed the other one first?” “Did you climax?” “Did he climax” “Exactly where on your body and his body did he or you touch?” and he asked me to point to those areas. “What type of underwear were you wearing?” He asked me to recount as many instances, in detail, of sexual misconduct as I could remember. I was scared and terribly uncomfortable. But I was also taught to believe that talking to him and giving him these graphic details were the only way that I could be forgiven. I spent years feeling shame for my sexual experience and also years feeling shame for having recounted the experience with my bishop.
My son recently had a worthiness interview when he turned 12. My children are somewhat sheltered and he had no idea what pornography or masturbation were. The bishop asked him if he had ever experienced either of those things. He was confused and embarrassed that he didn’t know and my husband and I were forced to explain these things to him that we hadn’t yet determined he was ready for. I have since refused to allow private worthiness interviews for any of my children.