I wasn’t affected (that I know of) by being asked these questions as a youth or as an adult. But my heart was touched by hearing the many troubles that this practice causes others.
My concern went immediately to my daughter, an LDS teen. I wanted to take the step that so many others have taken by informing her bishop that he was never to be behind a closed door with my daughter and was to never ask any questions of a sexual nature at any time.
However, I was fearful and anxious because of the nature of our relationship and some past “bad” experiences with my daughter and her mom. I am an ex-communicated mormon, ousted for apostasy, my wife and daughter remain true to the LDS faith and believe I have been deceived by Satan. Other discussions around “church things” have ended in argument and harsh feelings. So for the last little while, talking about anything related to the LDS church was taboo. This topic is related to the church but its ultimately about my child’s safety so certainly it would be ok.
I finally built up the courage to ask my daughter if she had been asked questions of this nature. I wanted to have a discussion with her before messaging the bishop. I didn’t want it to seem that I was going behind her back.
I asked. She answered that she had been asked generally about chastity and pornography. I pressed and asked if she had ever been asked about masturbation. She said she had not. I tried to take the conversation to my ultimate goal of ending bishops interviews without me being present, by telling her that I didn’t think it was appropriate for her to be with anyone behind closed doors discussing anything. But before the conversation could progress, she excused herself to the bathroom, where she texted her Mom and said she didn’t like being with me alone when I’m criticizing the church. I know this because her mom then messaged me and relayed what my daughter was feeling. I left the house.
The gist is this … my daughter doesn’t feel comfortable talking to her dad alone about the appropriateness of bishop’s interviews, but she feels comfortable with that bishop asking her those questions.