I am a biromantic asexual female. As I started realizing I had feelings for other girls, I became progressively more guilty about having urges to pursue romantic relationships with them. I had heard of LDS youth getting kicked out of their homes for being LGBT, so I was scared to talk to my parents about it and instead decided to speak to my bishop. At 14, I confessed to him that I was falling for my best friend. He started off asking simple questions like “Does she try and hold your hand or kiss you?” But then it started progressing to “Do you keep the law of chastity?” and then to more explicit questions such as “Do you masturbate?” “Do you think of naked girls?” “When you are looking at girls what do you look at first?” And with each question, I became increasingly uncomfortable. He deemed that I was worthy of the temple and hadn’t committed any sins but when I left that room, I felt unclean. This put a bigger divide between me and my parents, and my relationship with the church. I was scared that if I talked to anyone about it, they’d dismiss it as him doing his job, and that I wasn’t telling the truth if I felt gross about that conversation.
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