When I was 17, I was applying to BYU. For my application, I needed to have an interview with the bishop and the stake president. It must have been a requirement because I remember I had to have his signature for the application. He asked the usual questions and then seemed satisfied so he picked up the pen to sign his name. Right as the pen touched the paper, he paused and looked at me and said, “any problems with masturbation?” I remember feeling fear and panic, and I thought that the spirit of discernment had spoken to him and that he knew I masturbated. Even with these fears, I lied. I lied right to his face and said no. He accepted my answer. I signed my application and got out of there fast. I remember silently praying to god for forgiveness for lying. I literally thought that that close call of almost “getting caught” was some type of warning from god meant just for me. Like an, “I see you and you’re not supposed to do that, here is your very own person Scared Straight moment to set you on the right path”. I’m pretty sure in my mind I was like, that was an alias call, I swear never to masturbate ever again. Of course I did and I always felt so guilty about it. But not anymore.
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