Every bishop that I can remember has asked me about masturbation, behind closed doors. When I was a teenager, I was told in a fireside meeting that no girl would want me, and my marriage wouldn’t last, if I masturbated. Due to this, I grew to hate my body and my genitals, and regularly engaged in minor self-mutilation. I thought I was the only boy in my ward who masturbated, and I felt intense shame and self doubt because of it. Continuing into adulthood, I felt shame for masturbation, and it was only when I left the church behind that I left the shame being as well. My sex life with my wife is still negatively affected, however, and I don’t know if that will ever change.