When thinking about my baptism, I remember a few things about that day, but there is one huge thing I think about that day. Guilt. Down right guilt. That’s all I thought about that entire experience. I was supposed to be washed of my sins and be perfect. But I wasn’t perfect, nor would I…
Story #2. I was in 8th grade (13) when I had my first ecclesiastical interview. My uncle & his family had come from Seattle to do temple work, & he decided I was old enough to do baptisms with my cousins. I don’t remember being asked. My mom set up temple recommend interviews. I felt…
Trigger Warning: child sex abuse. This is about church teachings being used by my abuser. I grew up in a small Mormon town and was an innocent and naive child. When I was in grade 3, 8 years old, a teenage neighbor boy trapped me in my grandpa’s barn & molested me. I didn’t know…
I hesitate to relate this history, to talk explicitly about matters of a sexual nature, but am compelled to do so because church leaders did not hesitate to invade my young life with explicit words and judgments! My story; Deacon, teacher, priest, elder, mission, 2 temple marriages that ended in divorce, single, approaching retirement.. First…
One of my first interviews that I can remember happened when I was 12. I felt fine about meeting the bishop. He asked me if I obeyed the law of chastity. Fully believing I had, I answered in the affirmative. He questioned back with ‘are you sure?’ still fully believing in myself, I said Yep!…
I was fifteen lost my virginity to my boyfriend. I felt terrible about attempted baptism for the dead when others work so hard for a temple recommend so I confessed to my bishop. He ask me so many unnecessary details about the act. He asked me about thing I myself didn’t know about. I felt…
When I was in high school, I had a serious boyfriend. After about a year of dating, we mutually decided to have sex. Many months passed and my bf felt guilty and that he needed to confess to his bishop so he went and met with him. They met and the following day my bf…
This practice destroyed my self-esteem, caused me to experience nearly relentless anxiety from age 8 on and led me to take desperate actions to “fix” myself of normal adolescent behavior deemed to be amoral. This extreme and relentless psychological distress eventually royally messed up the trajectory of my life as I took desperate measures to…
I want to start by saying I am an active member of the church. I debated about sharing this, because all of the people involved with one exception are good people who just made understandable mistakes. The current status quo and puts people in a position where bad things can happen. That is why I support…
At twenty, I was depressed and hadn’t taken the sacrament since moving out of my dad and stepmom’s house 2 years earlier. I was sexually abused by my stepdad when I was 9, mom found out he’d done it to another kid and started asking me questions. The police got involved, I had to testify…