When I was a child about 9 or 10, I briefly viewed pornography out of curiosity before I knew it was a sin. When I had learned it was a sin in sacrament meeting sometime after, I was overcome with guilt and shame, as well as a terrifying fear of not making it to the…
“You know the church frowns on homosexuality.” My bishopric interview at 14 years old (1984) and why it shouldn’t have happened. Life was okay at 14 years old in Bountiful, Utah. It was 1984, so a much different world. It was a world without internet and only 3 TV channels. If you wanted to learn…
I was sexually abused by a family member from the age of 6 to almost 15. When it all came to light, I was asked to see my Bishop (alone). My Bishop tried to be a psychologist and told me that I CHOSE to be abused when I was in the spirit world so it…
I didn’t realize until I was at college that masturbation and strong sexual desire is a normal attribute of nearly every healthy person. My high school years were spent thinking that I was a deviant freak. Those years were counted in weeks that followed the shame cycle; dreading the coming of Sunday when I’d have…
I was raised LDS and was used to bishop interviews. My first bishop was pretty respectful, the farthest he would go was, “do you obey the law of chastity?” And when I didn’t know what that meant instead he asked “have you sinned in a way that disrespects your sacred body parts?” Enough said, it…
It was October of 2007, and I had just turned 8. I was told I had to meet the bishop, to see if I was worthy enough, so I could get baptized. I went in nervous as all hell, and wondered what he was going to ask me. He started off with the standard questions…
My father, Stan ______, held one on one “priesthood” interviews with his children when I was growing up. He set this up to feel much like a Bishop interview, and often compared the Bishop’s stewardship over the ward with Stan’s stewardship over his family. When I was 15, Stan began “Sex Ed” in which he…
I was raised in a family with half a dozen siblings. Very close, very conservative. My parents were very “morally driven” and extremely uncomfortable with anything adult oriented or things they deemed inappropriate. Easiest examples being the censorship they used for the family TV Many channels were blocked, we weren’t allowed to watch mainstream shows…
Prior to my first interview with the Bishop, I had no idea about sexual things. “Doing it” was something adults did. I was 11. But I wore sun dresses outside of church, and was developing early (B cup by 5th grade) and this was somehow all related to my unworthiness before god. I had to…
I was always shamed by The Church like everyone else growing up. I’ve tried writing my story now twice and every time I feel too much pain as I write to finish it. I’ll just say this: Stop damaging us. It’s too late for me and I’ll continue therapy to help heal my wounds. The…