I was harmed by the church’s teachings regarding sexuality, including invasive interviews on sexual topics.
I was a very well-behaved child. I didn’t do anything beyond occasional masturbation. I honestly believed I had committed a sin “next to murder.” I spent years sure I was going to hell.
I discussed things with bishops that they had no right to know or ask. I didn’t take the sacrament, and was publicly shamed. I developed scrupulosity.
Since I was too young to understand and process what I was told, I developed delusional beliefs around sexuality. I was mentally ill.
It took years of therapy to overcome the trauma. My issues followed me into my marriage relationship. They affect us still.
I also put myself in unsafe situations as a teen and young adult. I’d been taught to ignore my own discomfort and red flags. Grooming behavior seemed normal.
I’m horrified, looking back. (I’m in my 40s now.) This is one of the main reasons I left the church. I started to panic as my child approached the age of 12. I didn’t want to perpetuate the damage.
There are lots of things I miss about church. But, it was unsafe for me. I had to do better for my own child.