I was raised a Mormon. My mother was born in Utah. I had very strict grandmother and I felt pressured to speak about my masturbation habits and my porn watching. It lead me to lose my sarcament privileges which made me feel isolated from the other boys in my ward. The bishop was tough and felt I was beyond help, as if I needed help. I also was lead to feel shamed about my genderqueer femme identity and my pansexual orientation I suffered suicidal tendencies for feeling ashamed of my gender identity and I still feel ashamed for masturbating and watching porn.