Please reach out to any teen mothers that have had to deal with the church, I’m positive there are more victims of other members. They condition these girls to feel like they are nothing and everything is their fault. Check at risk youth centers! They shut these girls up by sending them away!!
Nov 17, 1997 My cousin was murdered. It crippled my family. I was lost. I was referred to the LDS Church for counselling because I was having a really hard time with it. That was a huge mistake. I was lectured about infidelity, sex, marriage and he claimed my cousins death was her own fault for putting herself in that situation. My cousin was shot in the head. I was taught that we are responsible for the situations we put ourselves in…
Jan 2000 – When I was 16 years old I was raped at a party on Superbowl Sunday 2000, I was extremely drunk and incoherent. I remember passing out on his friends bed and then having a pillow over my face. I ended up pregnant from that ordeal. I also did not go to the police because I was conditioned into believing it was my fault and the best thing I could do was try to develop a relationship with my rapist. “Forgiveness and move forward” I spent several months trying to develop a relationship with a LDS Church member that treated me like chewed gum. We also visited with people from his church which blamed me for his drug and alcohol problems. He hid a lot of things from his family and church and it was concerning. I was the one that outed him regarding drinking and in turn… was blamed for it. After I found out I was pregnant, I also went to his family and his church leader. I was criticized for being pregnant and told I was unfit to be a mother. I was urged to give my child up to LDS Family services in many ways. I did not. I was informed I was not allowed back at church because I did not obey my rapists and the church leaders wishes. The church leader also urged the rapist to ignore me during the pregnancy, so I would struggle enough to consider giving the baby up to LDS Family Services. I again… did not. After the baby was born, I went to my local LDS Church and tried to get his family involved because “Children need both parents” I was advised by the local Bishop that I was not welcome as a unwed mother. I was also criticized for not paying tithing on multiple occasions. I was being punished. While I was in college I even did a donation drive for teen single mothers while I was in college because of how I was being punished by the church. No one should ever have to feel the way I did. I was raised in Salt Lake City but I took a year of college at Dixie State in St George, where I was denied college housing because I was not married & I had a child. I wasn’t able to stay in single dorms and they wouldn’t let me stay in family housing either. I had to pay for a apartment off campus.
2003-2004 After college I moved back home with my parents. I also was raped again by another guy I was trying to start dating. This time I told him I didn’t want to because I wasn’t on birth control. I even asked him if we could just hang out. Again.. my fault. Pregnant again. This guy called me a whore and tried to claim he had a vasectomy. Even after DNA came back… This one was reported to the police. Never heard back. I found out this year he was charged with sexual battery by another woman.
2004-2006 – I moved out again and was working full time and taking care of my children by myself. Utah Office of Recovery closed my oldest sons case because they couldn’t find the father.(LDS Church knew exactly where he was, he was working for them.) I went to the local Bishop during that period of time because I was financially struggling and the Utah Department of Workforce Services and the agent with 411 referred me to my local Bishop for help. When visiting with that Bishop, I was informed I was not welcome as a unwed mother, influence sin, blamed again for by own rape, criticized for not paying tithing(I couldn’t even afford rent and childcare) and then denied help because I refused to let my children attend church without me.
2006 – I was working a full time job plus overtime but It wasn’t enough to pay the bills. I took on extra work with modelling promotions. I had to build a portfolio to get better paying gigs but I couldn’t afford the 200+ photoshoots. I met a few photographers that were willing to trade modelling shoots for CD’s of photos. Many of these photographers were professional and decent except 1. He cornered me in my bathroom after he showing up at my apartment uninvited and promising me to give me my CD’s. He tried to assault me in my front room in front of my children. I tried to make an excuse to get away from him and he followed me. It was also reported to the police, a long with several months of my tires being slashed while I lived in those apartments. My fault for being poor & expecting guys to be decent human beings. Pregnant again, I’m such a horrible person for having children out of wedlock. No one cares. I’m just a whore. This is what happens to chewed gum.
2007 I ended up rolling my car on the freeway in August of 2007, my tires blew out(no surprise with how many times they’ve been slashed) and I overcorrected. I ended up tearing my ACL and needing surgery. I had health insurance.. but how was I suppose to take care of my children by myself when I couldn’t walk? No one was willing to help, not even their fathers. I begged for help from Workforce Services and was referred to “the local Bishop” again. I was desperate. The Bishop criticized me for not paying tithing again, accused me of being a jezebel, criticized me for never being married. My oldest sons father was working for the LDS Church as a Stake Locator…. Yes.. the one that takes advantage of passed out drunk girls. (I found that out via Facebook)
In 2012 I was approached by missionaries. I handed them a list of reasons why my children and I don’t go to church. I also gave the same list to the relief society people. I was living in the low income area of West Valley City. I never heard a response back from them either.
2018 This year my cousin that was also a young single mother killed herself, she was tired of dealing with the injustice. She was ostracized and ignored too. Her boyfriend that also committed suicide, had a suicide letter calling out the LDS church on their behavior. The LDS Church and his LDS Family is keeping that private.
I was at the march with all 3 of my boys. I’m begging … Please don’t back down.