Long stories made short are the best when you’re still healing from the traumatic consequences you incurred. My first real boyfriend at the age of 21 was a priesthood holder. He attended church. He loved the lord. And he was a rapist.
Upon confessing my terrible sin to the branch president, he advised I should now marry this man since no one else would want me, not tell anyone else because it would only bring more Shane to my name for allowing it to happen, and apologize if I’d confronted my rapist about it. He surely could not control himself if I had been acting or speaking provocatively.
Skip forward 10 years. My best friend, male, was having difficulty in life. He was participating in activities that were out of his usual realm. He was involved in hardcore drugs. He was drinking every day. He was not functioning at life. He was not attending church. He was lying.
I was worried for his life. Not because he wasn’t going to church. But because he was going through something. Something I was unable to help him with alone. We ended up having sex one night.
I approached my bishop to confess my sins. He accused me of drinking and smoking and couldn’t believe I would be showing up to his ward after having sex one time with my best friend. I found out I was pregnant. I went in to speak with him again.
He reassured me that I was no longer his problem and was not welcome in his ward ever again. I was a terrible influence and he did not want me to lead other members astray with my terrible example. My best friend decided a baby wasn’t in his plan. I was fine with that. But the very moment he found someone who wanted to marry him in the temple, his only requirement was to write me a letter to say he was sorry.
I spoke with his bishop before they were to be married. I wanted him to know that he didn’t pay child support. He didn’t pay medical support. He hadn’t met his son.
He didn’t need to do anything further to be seen as a member in good standing. Meanwhile, as I was unable to afford food and shelter for our son, my bishop reassured me that since I chose to have sex and a baby without being married and under the covenant, I needed to keep repenting and pay more tithing. That I was not worthy enough to receive any assistance from the church. When the temple interview says ‘IN GOOD STANDING WITH FAMILY MEMBERS’ that includes child support and alimony and tithing and medical support and any additional requirement included in a court of law.
The MORMON church inflicts pain and suffering on those who don’t fit the mold. The MORMON church regards sexual acts as worse than murder. Worse than murder. Worse than killing another human being. Yet behind closed doors they’re able to say and do whatever they please. They can rape a child or tell a child who’s been raped that it is their fault.